It’s my Papa’s Birthday Today

I don’t even know how old he is. Too bad. But I still missed my Papa. He is now residing in Manila separeted from us.

Together with this date, my Ninang also celebrated her birthday today! They were busy preparing for her big event cuz she is turning 60. I am very glad to see the tarpulin which I made special for Ninang’s birthday. You know what, I earn income from that layouting. So, my career is officially start this year. Wanna hire me? Hehehe.

I will post more topics later. I have only 5 minutes vacant before the next subject.

I always feel tired at school

I really don’t know why I felt this way. I believed it is from the ambiance or seems like no friends. I went to school alone. No classmates to hang out with. That’s how miserable my life is. Do you know what I really do when I am at school? Within these past few days, I went to a place where most strangers want to buy stuffs (mall). I usually done window shopping. No money to buy things that I wanted.

I Wonder

I’m glad to see you guys dropping to this blog all over the world. I was wondering how would you find my blog? Is it through Google, Yahoo or the blog itself? 

I need you to response. Thank You!  

Report

We already ended up our reporting. Our concept about reporting is through talkshow. I was tasked to be as one of the co-host. 

I will continue this for some time cuz I have my class now. See yah! 

Misses Saturday

I wasn’t in the mood to post new blog last saturday because I was felt down. Here’s what happened last saturday:

When we were at the chapel for Babeh’s final burial,everyone seems so quiet and I was hiding and almost crying. The mass was still going on, and me, trying to calm myself cannot even hide the feelings I felt for Babeh’s death. She is like my younger sister cuz I’m the only younger of the family. Again, Babeh is not my blood-related peson. She is merely my neighbor. I know everything about that baby girl. That’s why I am one of most affected of that situation. As the mass ended, we approach to Babeh’s casket. I can’t even bursts out my feelings. I always cry until I almost faint. No, almost to faint. My heart seems to tighten and I can’t even catch my breath. My hands were getting numb and I told Mama about it. I was so scared for what had happened to me. I don’t even know my sickness. I was attacked almost 3 times. And that’s the 3rd attack. I cried and cried. Mama is there to comfort me. Mommy (Babeh’s mother) saw my situation that’s why she insisted that I must prefer to stay back home and take some rest. But I can’t I’d still want to go there to witness the last goodbye of Babeh. Bon-Bon (Babeh’s older sister) lend me some water to calm. I can’t even control my hands. I was worried that it could be a sign of stroke? Oh, no! I wished it is not! They left us. Only few are still remain in the chapel. I always insisted Mama “I want to go there.” But Mama already got mad because I might be faint there and it will cause problem. That’s why I decide to stay in our store almost near to the cemetery. My Kuya saw me crying. I want to cry it aloud so that my feelings would be at ease. But there, there’s no place to be stay alone. So I went back to the other store which had a room. There, I was alone and crying. Lying on bed still crying. I felt the super headache. I can’t even fall asleep. After 3 hours I felt quite calm. Everything’s going back to normal. I only recall to saw pictures and videos of Babeh. 

At that night, my ease was increasing due to my crush’s presence. He first talk to me and we talked awhile. 

Next post again. It’s already time.

First Meet To A Teacher

My first subject is Financial E1 - Cooperative Management. I never thought I could meet a teacher like her. I’m about to enter the classroom late, but then her expression was a part of shame for me. She stared at me and speak for words that had offend me. She said that, “You’re not supposed to be here late, you are not qualify here.” So, to my mind, I was thinking that she tries to emphasize that I should drop the subject if this will gonna be happen - to be late. But I was explaining to her why I was late. I know teacher would not be treat her students like that. I’m almost to cry but I keep my worries to fade. I find myself alone there and no one approached me to welcomed me to that class. She made a task for us, and immediately I did. She called one by one about what we had defined the subject. I was looking for a friend indeed to see me and point me to recite my answer. But no one saw me. I know I have few classmates lately but they ignored me as if they don’t know me at all. I felt like I’m not really belong to this course. I could feel the loneliness. Although I always experienced it, I don’t want to lived that forever. 

I’m Tired

I’m totally burned out. I came home early but too tired from school. 

I will post more often to this blog as possibly as can. Its time to sleep. Bye!  

Goodbye October, Here Comes November!

Today is exactly November 1, the All Saint’s Day and tomorrow will be the All Soul’s Day. I feel lonely and mad. I knew that this day I would never see him like the other sunday. I missed him terribly. You know, I don’t have boyfriend, he’s my crush. I liked him the first time he’d appeared. I wonder, where is he now?  Yesterday, I wasn’t able to meet him. I regret the chance to glance and to talk to him. I was playing at that time when he’d appeared.  But, he stayed for a while.

Now. I am sad and lonely. I missed him.

I hope I can see him these remaining semestral day break. The incoming 2nd semester is fast approaching. 

“Minsan ang iniisip mo hindi gaya ng iniisip niya.”

Lesson: Don’t expect in return when someone is being nice to you. Maybe, he treats me only as friends. That’s all, nothing is matter. 

Baden’s Goodbye

When I stay laying on bed, I could hear Jr looking for me. My brother asked Jr what was his intention to me. Jr said nothing.

When I took a bath, Jr went back to looked for me. I was curious about Jr. He told me, “Mama Chen, Baden was dead late midnight.” I was shocked. I can’t believe. I think that’s the usual expression and feelings of an unexpected situation. I thought to myself that Baden has been a good kid since she was born. She made us happy.

 Two days after that I went to the hospital to visit Baden because she was confined at that time. I saw Babeh/Baden’s body is changing. She is thinner than its normal. Her lips gone dry. I never distracted Baden’s sleeping becuase it will make Baden irritated. She is better I thought when I leave the room. I never imagine that would happen to her. But I know God made this so that Baden will never suffer. As you can see her, you feel mercy to her. She is now with Papa Jesus! She will never suffered from severe sickness and pain. She has a down syndrome and a heart disease for your information.

I thank God because there a kid, a beautiful kid who makes us happy. We loved her among her brother and sisters. All I can have now is the memory of her which are the pictures and videos. 

“I will definitely missing you Babeh. I love you so much.” Baden is not my blood relative.She is my neighbor. Our beloved neighbor.

I love you so much Babeh.  

I waited this day to happen

I thank God for everything that had happened to my life. I waited this day to happen. Really! 

I ask you too readers that pray is the strongest way to keep your faith to God. My prayers were granted. 

I’ll tell you that God made things possible with one who believes in Him. ♥